April 19, 2006 - Sheree would have been 51 years old today. After all these years, I still think of her often. I remember the Sundays that we spent together at our grandparents farm, wandering around, talking, playing, teasing and trusting each other as only cousins can. These memories are some of the most enduring and happy ones of my childhood. Even though she would sometimes force me to play jacks with her, it was a small price to pay for her companionship. Being an only child, she was the closest thing to a sister that I had, and she made a very good one. Even at a young age, we could and often did speak to each other of whatever was on our minds. She was my first passanger when I built a raft out of empty oil barrels and an old barn door to travel along the half mile long section of creek that flowed along the backside of our grandparent's farm. Sheree and I, like Huck and Jim had our adventures along that creek. Sheree's mother, my aunt, was a librarian and instilled in her a love of reading that was matched by my own. We would often discuss the books and the stories that we had read, and we both had a love of puzzles and riddles, something that we both believed we acquired from our grandfather.  In our youth, Mary Poppins was the big thing at the time, and it was Sheree that taught me how to say supercalifragilisticexpiallidocious. She could also say it backwards, which was something that I never quite mastered. On a shopping trip once to what was then, the newly opened Manchester Mall in Fresno, our grandmother purchased each of us a little toy magnet, and the hours of fun we had with those easily surpassed the amount of time it takes a modern youngster to tire of the latest video game. A wonderful time we had was a trip to the snow with my father and our grandmother, Nanny as we called her. The hills near Grant Grove in Kings Canyon National Park provided a wonderful place to slide down them on old patched up inner tubes from various pieces of farm equipment. We had quite a time on those old things, sloshing and sliding this way and that. The following summers, we could then use them to float down the Kaweah River on family outings to the town of Three Rivers. One big old tractor inner tube could actually hold Sheree, myself and the rest of our cousins. As often happens, at the beginning of our teen years, Sheree and I drifted apart, because of events that were beyond our control. I thought of her often though and liked to think that she also thought of me. Sheree would have been 51 years old today, but alas, it never came to pass. A few days before starting college, I awoke one morning to hear on a local radio station of an accident on a local roadway that had taken the life of two young girls who were due to start college in the next few days. A driver, impaired by the consumption of alcohol, had gotten behind the wheel of his vehicle and ran a stop sign, striking the car so brutally that the girls were thrown from it. Attending my first day of college in an English class, the roll was called, and shortly before my name was called, so was hers. I told the professor that the roll would never be answered. And though 33 years have passed since her passing, I still often think of Sheree and of the happy memories of our childhood together, and often wonder of what might have been. Her eventual marriage, children and family. These things did not come to pass for her and for that I grieve for the joys that she did not know. I grieve for the heartache that was suffered by her parents, brother, grandparents and cousins. Those are emotional wounds that will never completely heal. I tell you this story today for two reasons, firstly to honor the memory of Sheree and her all too brief time with us on this earth, and secondly with the ferverant hope that if even one person that reads it, and perhaps passes it along remembers it when they think of getting behind the wheel of a vehicle when they shouldn't, then they perhaps will not be the cause of such heartache and nor have to suffer the guilt of ending a life before it's time.

February 11, 2005 - Another year has passed, and it seems that time goes by all that much more quickly as one gets a bit older. I can still remember in elementery, or grammar school as we called it then, that the time it took for the school year to pass was an intermidable passage that would never be over, especially since summer and school vacation meant lots of wonderful days, spent on my grandparent's farm, outside and in the wide open spaces. To live in the foothills or the mountains, one has to have a love for the great outdoors. And here, in our little community is a place where it can be truly enjoyed and appreciated. I remember once seeing as sign as I was driving through the town of Tehachipi in the mountains above Bakersfield and seeing a sign that said, "Land of Four Seasons". That is most definitely true there as well as it is here. I believe it is much preferable spending a year in a place where the weather is a factor almost daily, where in the winter, it gets cold and where, in the summer, it gets warm. This leaves the Spring and Fall to give us an almost daily surprise of which it will be as well. And as cold as the winter's nights can be, there is almostly nothing quite so lovely as being out in the cold frostly air, watching a full moon rise over a nearby mountain with a clarity that those that reside in the big cities can ever truly appreciate. Or, lacking the light of the moon, seeing the stars, beyond measure with a clarity as did our ancestors, and actually being able to see the groups of constellations the way they did and being able to see your own images in the sky. If one is very lucky, they have a friend, a neighbor, parent or grand parent with which you can share this experience and from who you can hear the stories of the stars, their names, their history. Too often, in the hectic pace that modern life has taken, we fail to take the time to appreciate the history of what surrounds us, and to take advantage of those that might give us the sense of history that we have lost. So often, as I walk in the countryside, taking photos for this website, I occassionally come across a neighbor that has the time to share some of those stories with me, and for that I am grateful. To learn that this rock, this tree or some other landmark along the way has borne witness to much that has passed. 5 generations have passed since the days of the pioneers in our area, but this is but a mere drop in the bucket compared to the history of the Native Americans in our area. What stories may they tell us as well, and I have indeed been fortunate to hear a few of these. So, as this new year unfolds before us, try to remember to take the time, sit a spell, as it were and converse with your friends, you neighbors and enjoy the life that you have here in this beautiful little place, and in doing so, you will learn to love and appreciate it all the more.

December 10, 2005 - Where has the year gone? As I sat staring at the stars the other night as they can only shine in the clear, crisp, cold night air over our little community, my thoughts were on many things. Christmas time is nearly upon us once again, and for many people, like myself who have seen a number of Christmases come before, the season brings back a flood of memories from those other holiday's past. Those memories, part of a journey through life bring with them, both the good and the bad. And in what is supposed to be a season of joy, those that have suffered a loss or for whom the season brings thoughts of sadness, this time of the year is most likely to bring that sadness to the forefront as in no other time of the year. In a time when marriages are not what they used to be, where children are forced to choose between one parent or another, are even as is being played out in the evening news of late, whether or not to even celebrate the holiday or what to call it, can become a devisive issue in a family's dynamic. So, our thought for the day, is this. Whether you realize it or not, you know a person that suffers with their own special sadnesss during the season. So, in the spirit of this Christmas, of this time of the year, when we are supposed to think more about others than ourselves, please take the time to tell those for whom you care, of your appreciation for them, for their efforts on your behalf and for the joy they bring to your life. In the total scheme of things, this perhaps, can be the greatest gift of all.

June 10, 2005  - When only a few days ago, I wrote of a newfound joy in my home, I was only to find out a day later about the loss of someone whose paths and mine had crossed a number of times over the years. Years ago, my paths crossed with a young man in boy scouts, and even though we both lived in the city of Tulare at the time, we found ourselves once a year in this area, on the shore of Huntington Lake at a boy scout camp situated there. Perhaps that's why both of us ended up back in this area that we both loved at later times in our life. Later, in high school, I was honored to help manage the basketball team on which my friend played. Tall and lanky, he always made his mark in his own way on the team and always found a way to stand out. At our last two high school reunions, we would talk about the past, and the times that our paths had crossed, and at other times we would come across each other and spend a few minutes talking about the foothills and the mountains. The last time that this took place was just a mere month or two ago. Alas, our paths will cross no more, and I will miss my friend, who while we were not exremely close, our paths crossed many times in the last 40 years since our time in the boy scouts together. He will be missed by many more than just myself, I am sure. So to my friend, Tim Savage, I bid a fond farewell.

June 6, 2005 - It's been some time since I've written in this journal and it's very good thing to report that things are very much different from the last time that I did so. A new spirit has been evident in Tollhouse in the last 2 months. A new spirit of cooperation among all it's citizens that had been lacking for some time, a renewed spirit of helping one another, that had been lost for a time, perhaps in the heat of local conflicts and disputes. And it's a joy to write about these kinds of changes. A restoration of the spirit takes place when one can see that a certain harmony of things has been restored. The night before last, when during a phone conversation on a cell phone, I happened to find myself outdoors on a moonless night staring at the plethora of stars that only us that live in the mountains far from the lights of any city can be privledged to see in this day and age. It was with a profound sense of happiness that as I sat and looked at the stars and talked to a dear friend that I was able to think about all that has happened of late here in Tollhouse and of the real sense of harmony that I felt at that moment. It's a very nice thing that home once again feels like home to me, and it's even nicer that I can have the opportunity to feel that way. This week marks the passage by many of our young residents into a new life, as they continue their education, become a part of the work force or just find a new path to follow in an ever more complex world. Where ever they may happen to find themselves, it is hoped by all of us here in our little town of Tollhouse that they will be able to remember where they come from and of it's often quiet simplicity and hold it in their hearts on their journey through life. As Morgan, a frequent visitor to website has been fond of saying, no matter how far she is away from our little community a part of it remains forever in her heart.

March 22, 2005 - As I sit in front of my computer on this cold, windswept, rainy night, preparing myself for a court case to be heard tomorrow morning, which I may or may not win, myriad thoughts continue to swirl through my mind. Not as some might think, are those thoughts about the case, or anger against those who brought it, but the thoughts are profoundly sad ones. They are for a place that I love, which is this little community. To see what it has become in the past couple of months, rends my soul and my heart much more than the losing of a court case or even of the winning of it. The sadness of my thoughts are for those that believe that one can own a community. For those of you that have read this website and this journal for any length of time know full well my feelings for this place, and of its people. The real estate may be in this name or that one, but the heart and soul of this little community resides in the personalities and unique individuals that inhabit its environs. Some of those people reside in our little Rogues Gallery, but there are many others as well. My time here has taught me so many lessons about life, so many things that I should have known, that we all should know, about the way life should be and our purpose for being here. It’s often said that one must be brought down, before one can be brought up. That is one of the lessons that I have had to painfully learn. But another lesson that I have learned is that at times, I have an occasional gift for words and the ability not only to express my own feelings but to also give a voice to others whose voices might not otherwise be heard. When I saw what I perceived to be injustice, I found myself incapable of silence even when others stayed silent. This was one of the reasons that this little website came to be. When some of the people that were my friends and neighbors were called white trash that they were going to clean out of THEIR town, I found it impossible to stay silent. It being a small place where everyone knows everything that is going on faster than CNN can broadcast the latest tragedy from halfway around the world, when I found out that this epithet had found it’s way into the local schools and that children and grandchildren of my friends were being called these hateful words, I could not stay silent. Through this website, I have showed those that may not know our little community as well as I do some of the people that live here, some of the people that have tried to help one another and some of the people that give this community its soul. I was always taught that it was much harder to hate your enemy when you gave your enemy a face and a story to go with it. It’s often said that the Vietnam War was lost when color television brought to American television screens the horror and bloodshed of that place and of the lives that were being lost. They weren’t a nameless, faceless enemy any more, they were mothers crying for their dead and dying children, as we do. There were fathers weeping for their lost sons, as we do, and they were people like we are. So, I endeavored to show the faces of our little community to the rest of their neighbors and to show their faces and something of the stories that went with those faces to the rest of us, so that maybe the hatred could be subdued, so that maybe the animosity could be muted, because after all, the people of this community are parents, sons, daughters just as are those who have hatred for us in their hearts. But I fear in these efforts I have been a failure. The hatred is stronger than it has ever been, and the drive and desire of those that see some of us as white trash or even as something undeserving of basic human decency continues unabated. To that has been added the machinations of those selfsame individuals to pit neighbor against neighbor through one means or another and to use any information gleaned in the process to wreak their revenge on those that have dared to stand against them. I have indeed paid a heavy price in the last 11 months for writing this website and to daring to say some of the things that I have said. And as I sit here tonight and think about these past 11 months, I try to think what I might have done differently knowing what it was going to cost me. However for the life of me, even knowing about the threats and harassment that would be coming my way, I can’t say that I would have done anything other than what I have done. I have written much about Penny H in the past few days, of her mother, and of Penny’s journey of discovery. Her mother could not see injustice and rest silent, neither can her daughter and neither can I. We have not tried to drive out of our community those that hate us, we have only asked that they live by the same rules as the rest of us. We have not tried to get them fired from their jobs, as they have done to some of us. We have not called them and their children names as they have us, and we have not returned the obscene gestures and foul language that they have heaped on us, because we refuse to bring ourselves down to that level. And finally, we return their hatred with true sadness for what they can not see and for what they can not understand, and that is that family and true friendship build bonds that are much stronger than any bloodlines could ever be, and that no amount of control that they might wish to exercise on their own and on us can ever fill that dark empty space in their hearts and in their souls.

March 5, 2005 - The last time that I wrote in this journal was while helping out at the local market in this community. This is something that is no longer available to do and it is something that I truly miss. Talking with all of you as you came by from time to time was truly a great joy and so was discussing local happenings and passing the time with all of you. It was one of the things that made this website an easy one to do.

February 13, 2005 - Sitting in the Tollhouse Market on this Sunday morning and watching the little drama unfold here in our little community has caused me to attempt to express in words some of the myriad thoughts going through my mind at the moment. In 5 days, I will have completed my 5th decade of life here on earth. As do most people that reach various milestones in their lifetimes, it gives one pause to reflect back on their life. To look at where they've been and where they thought they would be by now. To some this process is one of amazement, realizing that they never thought they would be where they are now and how fortuitous were circumstances in their life that have contributed to their overwhelming success in life. For others, the process is one of sadness, thinking of what they have had, then lost and so on. Still others, such as myself, it's been cause for a true period of reflection not only on my own life and it's varied events, but on life in general and on life in this place in particular. After living in this area since 1988, mostly in the Burrough Valley area, I found myself in the middle of the townsite of Tollhouse after a most acrimonious divorce and with pretty much nothing to my name. As is common in those kinds of cases, I railed against the fates for a bit, but after a short period of time, I came to discover the residents of Tollhouse. I was amazed by them then and I continue to be amazed by them. To a person, they have been kind, considerate and supportive of me and of one another. That doesn't mean that we all live together in a state of perfect harmony, because that's not human nature. But, when the chips are down, they have always been there for one another. Their views on life and their actions have come to teach me more about life and the real world than 12 years of school, and 90 units of college ever did. There are times when I believe that perhaps things in my life were meant to happen in a certain way than for no other reason than to come to discover this place. So many of us hurry our way through life going for the next paycheck hurrying from one appointment or chore to the next that we often lose track of our surroundings. Losing all that I had forced me to take the time to become aware of my surroundings and look at life in a way that I hadn't had time for in the past and this I believe is a good thing, a very good thing. Unfortunately, I have also experienced in this town for the first time in my life, having someone threaten my life and to do so for no other reason that I exercised my rights as granted to me by the laws of this country and of the Constitution upon which it was founded. Things like that don't happen in this day and age you say, but indeed they do. I have a neighbor who spent her maturing years without a mother because her mother stood up for what she believed in and in the fact that all men were created equal. Her mother paid the ultimate price for those beliefs and that is a story that we have chronicled from time to time here on this website. This neighbor has taught me much about life and what it means to stand up for what you believe in. Her mother's pain was over in an instant, but her's continues to this day, all because of people that believed that they were better than others and that some people were undeserving of treatment as fellow human beings. It causes me pain to see that so little has changed in the 40 years since my neighbor lost her mother. The hatred and rascism remain, only the targets are different. My neighbor has had the last 40 years to live with this and has learned that one must feel a certain amount of pity for these poor wretched souls whose lives are so devoid of any real meaning that they must inflict their own pain upon others to try and lift themselves out of the dark morass wherein lies their existence. This is something that my neighbor has taught me during my time in Tollhouse. She has taught me that one can never return such hatred in kind, as it only causes a person to lower themself to the same low place as those who would promulgate their foul hatred. The symbol of Valentine's Day is a heart, and the lessons that I have learned from my neighbor have given my heart a new peace that I had not known before I came to this place for that I will be forever grateful. So, to Penny H., I want to send to you this rather unusual, but very special Valentine wish. Thank you for all that you have taught me. Your mother would indeed be so very proud of you.

December 15, 2004 - As I sometimes sit in the wee hours of the morning and look out of the window of my abode and am able to look out over most of the town of Tollhouse, I am often amazed at this little place and of what it has taught me. Spending time in the market and talking to many of you that happen by, the tide of life that ebbs and flows through here reminds me of things that we should all remember. One of those lessons that was painfully learned is that no amount of materialistic wealth may overcome the poverty of one's spirit, though the wealth of one's spirit may easily overcome the poverty of material possessions. For all the talk that one may hear that money solves all problems or that the lack of money causes them, this, I believe; is simply not true. Speaking from the viewpoint of one that has been in both worlds, I would have to say that I prefer wealth of spirit over the wealth of material things. Especially at this time of year, when materialism seems to reign supreme over the spirit of the season, I find so much that is inspirational in this town and it's people. In spite of a very hard year for many of us, and watching the seeming triumph of greed and hatefulness by some, the determination of many of the residents of Tollhouse to help one another during this time has been a true miracle of the season. Through adversity, they help one another, persevere, and give of their time and their hearts to help one another. It is often said of Karma that all that you put out in the world comes back to you times 3. If this is indeed true, then many of our fellow residents have spent this year building a vast reserve of good fortune for themselves in times to come and have served as a wonderful example to all of us of the best aspirations of the human spirit. It is with profound sadness that I sometimes think of those that allow themselves to be taken up in their avarice and picture in my mind, as the ghost of Jacob Marley in Dicken's immortal "A Christmas Carol' of the chains that wiegh them down and of the terrible burden on their souls that this must be.

December 5, 2004 - Last month many of us suffered the loss of a long time friend that many of us are still coming to grips with, and it causes many of to think about our own mortality and to look at our own lives. None of us knows when that hour or that day may come, regardless of our current state of health or anything else. Accidents happen and so do heart attacks and other acts of nature and even the occassional bolt of lightning strikes. Hardly a days goes by when one or another of us doesn't say to each other that they were doing something or heard something and their first thought was to think that "I'll have to tell Tony about that tomorrow morning at coffee" It's truly amazing sometimes the habits we get into and the things that we take for granted assuming that they will always be there, yet at some level all of us know that life is a very transitory thing and all too fleeting. At some level of our own existence, we know that each loss we sustain along the way reminds us that more will come, but it also serves as a reminder to cherish the connections to life that we have, to cherish the friends, companions and family that we have while they are here to be reminded of how much they mean to us. As the holidays approach, take time to remember that, and to let someone you care about know that you care, not buy the materialistic buying of gifts, but by giving the most precious gift that one may gift, a moment of your time to talk to them, to tell them how they make your life a better thing and worth living.

November 18, 2004 - From the residents of Tollhouse to Tony: Some years ago, as I helped the owner of the little market in Tollhouse one Sunday morning, I chanced to see a solitary figure walking along the highway that runs through Tollhouse from the direction of the Post Office towards the market. He came in, poured himself a cup of coffee and said, “Hi, I’m Tony. Who are you?” This was my first meeting with Tony. As I explained that I had recently moved into a house up the road and was substituting for the owner of the market that day, we proceeded to have a conversation that lasted for well over an hour. This was to be the first of many such conversations. Over time, the varied experiences of Tony’s life unfolded in these conversations and of mine as well. We had both traveled widely during our lives and often compared notes on many of the places that we had both enjoyed over the years. Sally, one of the current owners of the market recently said of Tony that he was so passionate when was telling one of his stories, and this was definitely true. Tony was not only passionate in his story-telling, he was passionate about life as well, and his passion for life was contagious. Tony almost never failed to bring a smile to those of us who would gather around the little market in the mornings to have coffee and to chat. And it was Sally’s husband Al who remarked this week that he believed it was Tony that brought them all there. At this, one might say that Tony was holding court, but this would be to do him a great wrong. Tony, for all of his success in life and in all that he had accomplished was one of the most unassuming people that one would ever meet. He was there to be with his friends, to talk, to listen and enjoy the warm friendship of many of us that had come to love him over the years. Tony seemed to most especially enjoy his conversations with Todd, one of our locals who had been working on some property that he had recently purchased. They would discuss for hours on end what he was doing with the property and Tony would give him his thoughts and Todd would listen and vice versa. Then later, Tony would relate with almost a fatherly pride how well he thought Todd was doing. Todd, this week said that he was going to have to go out and buy some shares of stock that Tony had been encouraging him to purchase recently, if for no other reason that to honor Tony’s memory. Tony’s passion for the Stock Market was not lost on his friend Donnie either. Through Tony’s constant persuasion, at which he was quite skilled, Donnie was finally convinced to invest in the market along with Tony, and they spent much time discussing their positions in the market together.  Ron, one of the weekend members of what has been called the Tollhouse Coffee Klatch said recently that there will never be another one like Tony and in this all of us here in Tollhouse most whole-heartedly agree. Tony is one of those people that one is lucky enough to meet once or twice in a lifetime and to feel privileged for the experience. Holly, another long-time Tollhouse resident has said of Tony that he was as sharp as the day is long and this too is something that anyone that spent anytime at all with Tony came to know quite quickly. This, most certainly played a major role in Tony’s constant promotions in his work for Edison until he had become the head of the Big Creek Hydro project. Holly also tells us that Tony is the most generous person that she had ever met, and this too, was true of who and what Tony was. Tony was truly passionate when he would relate how he had worked to put together some fund raising enterprise to help this cause or that, and you could tell in his relating of it, just how much satisfaction he had gained from doing so. This was his reward, not any recognition that he might receive for doing so. However, of all the subjects of which Tony was passionate there were two that ranked above all others. These were Lois and Brittany. I, myself remember his relating of spending time with Lois gathering materials for some Christmas decorations that she had designed and of the entire history surrounding them being purchased by a local department store. There was genuine pride in his voice when he spoke of this, because the pride he would not show in himself he most certainly showed for his beloved Lois. Todd told me that Tony’s eyes would sparkle when he spoke of Lois and this is something that I too have seen. May all of us at some point in our lifetimes be so blessed as to be loved in this manner Of Brittany, no one that heard Tony speak of her could fail to see the kinship that existed between them and of the special bond that they shared. When her arrival to spend the summer with him and Lois drew near each year, we would get constant updates from Tony of her imminent arrival. Perhaps his daughter Tammy said it best when she recently said that Britanny and Tony both shared that same spark of genius that we always could see in Tony. In closing, Tony seemed to really enjoy our little community website that we have in Tollhouse called Tollhouse Treasures. He seemed to be truly honored when we made him our Citizen of the Week this summer. At that time, we said that Tony was the kind of person that we all wish we could be. All of us that came to know Tony here in Tollhouse do consider him to be a true Tollhouse Treasure and a treasure to all of those whose lives he touched with his kindness, his love and his generosity.

November 4, 2004 - Someone recently left a copy of John Steinbecks "The Grapes of Wrath" in the book exchange at the Tollhouse Market. Being that I hadn't read the book since I was in 8th grade when my Dad got it out of the library for me, suggesting that I read it, I decided to take it home with me. This is a book that holds a special place for me as both sets of my grandparents made the trek west to California during the dust bowl days of the late 30's, coming from Arkansas and Missouri respectively. For those of you not familar with the book, the members of the extended Joad family make the trek west from the Oklahoma Dust Bowl to California via the famous "Mother Road" Route 66. The story, as Steinbeck tells it, is a powerful one, chronicling their trials and tears along the route and what happens to them upon arriving here, and of those they lost on the road along the way. In the book, 10 members of the family have to make it from Oklahoma to California with some flour, a bag of beans, an old Ford pickup and about 200 dollars. My paternal grandfather upon seeing the movie that was made from the book in the early 40's staring Henry Fonda, would often remark that they had it easy, as he had brought his family all the way from the Ozarks of Missouri to Visalia in California along the same route with an old pickup and about 20 dollars or so. Granted, gasoline was 5 cents a gallon back then, but nonetheless it was a long and difficult trip, especially the last portion across the Mojave Desert and all along the way, the family was held together by it's matriarch, Ma Joad, who with many tears tried to keep her family fed, and to hold them together during the long trek west. Anyway, I've said all that to say this. As I watched the political season of the election unfold here in Tollhouse in the last few weeks and seen the passions that were associated with it, many of the feeling and positions taken by local residents have their genesis in that time and of the War that followed the Great Depression. Never, in my time in the Tollhouse area, have I seen such passions during an election. Watching all of this, and listening to the arguments of both sides kept bringing back the memories of paternal grandparents to me. It was their passionate beliefs about politics, that instilled in me my strong convictions on the necessity to vote and to always participate in the political process. I turned 18 the year that they lowered the voting age to 18, registered to vote and have never missed an election since and it's to them that I owe this. They made the difficult trek west so that they could survive and so that their children, and later their grandchildren could have a better chance at life. My paternal grandmother, like the indomitable Ma Joad in the "Grapes of Wrath" held her family together as well, and instilled in her children and grandchildren a strong sense of family and what it meant. I still think of her often and of everything that she gave us all. Today, 9 years to the day since she's been gone, I still miss her.

September 23, 2004 - Nothing can truly compare to the smell in the mountains after the first rain after a long, dry spell. The aroma of the earth as it is moistened by those first gentle drops of rain compares to nothing else. One smells the flowers, the fragrance of the eucalyptus and a dozen other things, each clear and distinct all borne on the breezes that accompany the storm. In this day and age, far too few people stop for a moment to savor such an event. With the rush of life, and schedules to keep, and the hectic pace that too many of us keep, we fail to enjoy the gifts that nature often has to give us. So, the next time that Mother Nature favors us with another of her gifts from the heavens, take a few minutes and enjoy the sights and smells of our little corner of the world and be thankful for the living giving waters that she is bestowing upon us all.

September 7, 2004 - Another holiday has come and gone in our little community. The days grow shorter and already there is a hint of the autumn chill to come in the dawn air. The leaves will soon start to show their fall colors and with luck, a little rain will soon be in the air, and bring with it the smells of fall. There is nothing like the smells of the foothills in the fall. With the gentle dropping of the rain comes the smell of the eucalyptus trees, the smell of the moist earth, rich in life that permeates the fall air. This is another of the things that keep us here. While in the big cities, the fall rains brings the smells of oil in the streets, of asphalt of exhaust washed to the ground, we bask in the fragance of nature in our air in the fall. Nothing anywhere can compare to it. There is a funny thing about living in the mountains. Since starting this website, so many people have come forward with all types of information about the history of this place. And the history that they tell is fascinating one. It's not so much stories of what happened at this date in that place, it's more the history of people and alliances that have taken place over the recorded era of our little community. Their memories are long ones and to piece the information together is like putting together a jigsaw puzzle, but the picture that emerges tells such tales. Perhaps at some time in the future, some of those tales will be told on our little website.

August 17, 2004 - It seems as if every time I sit down to write in this journal that something always comes up and it's one of the last things that I get around to doing. There are always events to add to the events page, pictures to crop and load on the page and stories to write to go with them, not to mention the backlog of individuals to add to the rogue's gallery. Sigh. Someone said something to me the other day, however that I found to be a bit troubling and I think that it needs to be addressed, and that this little area of our website might be the best place to do it. First and foremost, this website is about our community, our area and the people therein. It is not a website that is meant to 'get' anyone as has been alleged by a few. While it is true that our domain names of TollhousTrash.com and TollhouseTreasures.com as well of our motto of "One man's trash is another man's treasure" found their gensis in a local property owners remark that they would clean the 'white trash' out of Tollhouse, and this was followed up with a campaign of threats of physical violence and intimidation, this website isn't about them as they aren't worth the effort or the time to really discuss. The state of California is dealing with them in their own time, and after they are finished with them, a large number of evironmental groups and other organizations and lawyers will be taking their turn with them as well. This website is about a little community that time seems to have passed by, at least until recently. Many things will most likely befall Tollhouse in the future, and many of those things may or may not meet with the approval of those of us who live here. This website is about those of us that live here and as has been said before, about how many of us have found a sense of family and community in this little corner of the Sierra Nevada Mountains. This is not a community of perfect idividuals, though we do, in this website try to promote the positive in all of us, and there is much positive in the residents of this area to promote. It seems that there are already plenty of other places that all of the bad things in the world can be found 24 hours a day in living color, but the good in people, the acts of kindess that they perform for each other and simple lending of a helping hand to one's neighbor is not the kind of news that leads to spectacular ratings points or major advertising contracts. So, in that regard, it may be said that we will probably never be that kind of commercial success. That being said however, we must have struck a chord somewhere with our litlte down home stories of small town life, because in the 4 1/2 months that we have been around 100,000 visits have been made to this little piece of virtual reality. For those of you that have told us what you think about our efforts, we thank you as your comments have been almost universially positive. Every little place and every little community has it's stories, but as a group, we have decided to share ours with you, and you appear to have appreciated that fact by the your continued patronage here. Thank you for that and remember that your comments are always welcome here, whether good, bad or otherwise, as well as any suggestions that you might have for making this a better place to visit.

July 23, 2004 - While on a visit to that vast sea of humanity consisting of untold millions of human beings that is called Southern California this week, I had a conversation with someone that sincerely asked me, "Why would you want to live in such a tiny little place so cut off from everything and where hardly any people live?" I tried to explain about the view out of the door where I lived and how the stars looked at night and how this time of year in the late evening, one can actually see the Milky Way Galaxy spread across the heavens with a grandeur for which no words are truly adequate to describe. The look in their eyes told me that this was something that they could never truly understand. I found this to be truly sad. Have those that dwell in the large cities so forgotten the simple joy in feeling the wind on your face while you listen to it rustle thousands of leaves in hundreds of trees at the same time? Have they forgotten the joy of watching the sun rise over the top of a mountain and suddenly cast it's light in an instant like a beacon? Every morning I look out at the same mountain and the same peak that overlooks Tollhouse, yet never is it the same. As the seasons play their symphony over our little community, the sun moves majestically to rise from first one part of the mountain, and then to another. And on almost every one of those mornings, there is something new to be noticed, something that has changed. Nature too paints the mountain from her ever changing pallette that changes as do the seasons. The blossoms, the wild flowers, all these things come and go, it seems so very quickly. Alas, the simply wonder of nature was lost upon those with whom I was speaking. The true sadness lies in the fact that they have been so long and so far removed from all these things that they no longer know what they have lost and what they are missing. I was saddened that I could not convey to them what it means to feel these things, and that I also could not convey what it meant to feel a part of a community in which neighbors look out for each other and almost feel in many cases as family. These things were so foreign to them as to defy comprehension. So this little essay is my attempt to describe with the written word what I so obviously failed to explain with the spoken. May it help those of you out there who live in Flatland understand us a bit better. (smile)

July 9, 2004 - Mark Twain once said that the definition of a patriot is someone who loves their country and who isn't afraid to criticize it's government. As the Fourth of July came and went this year in the community of Tollhouse, those words never ring more true. The residents of Tollhouse and of the surrounding area represent a broad spectrum of political beliefs and opinon, but most of them share a common belief in loving their country, and most of them, I believe have a greater than average love of the land. That's almost a prerequisite for living in the country. As people come and go through town and visit the market, etc. one often sees the political diversity and a love of discussing politics both local, regional, state and national. To me, watching and listening to these discussions are a fascinating exercise. I also admit to actually participating from time to time. Also another aspect of small town life that has been mentioned before here is the fact that it is much more difficult to keep aspects of one's life as private as is sometimes possible in the city. Neighbors do watch out for each other more often here in the country than elsewhere, simply because one is much more likely to know their neighbors than in the city. The longer that I live in this community and see the depth and breadth of caring that many of the residents have for each other, and of the kindnesses of which they are capable, I continue to be humbled. Just as the residents of Tollhouse hold a diversity of political beliefs, so exisits a diversity of financial success among them. But when these diverse residents gather to discuss local issues and other subjects, this mostly doesn't matter. This is something that truly amazes me to watch. Seldom in the big city will you find a location where the millionare is sitting down on a bench at the market with the person that literally doesn't have 2 dimes to rub together discussing issues as though there didn't exist such a financial void between them. This is one of the things that I truly love about this place, because it is a place where friendship and a spirit of community mean more than the financial disparity that exist between folks. With only a few notable exceptions, this is true in the entire area around this little community. Of the few notable exceptions, there are always those who by virtue of what they own or what they have, believe that they have to threaten or attempt to step on those who have less, and one can only feel sorry for folks such as those, because they haven't yet discovered a very real truth in life, and that is if one has to attempt such actions to fill fullfilled in life, that they will never be fullfilled, and that they will ever strive for an elusive dream that no amount of money or material gain can hope to fill that void that exisits in their cold empty souls. Just as the Bible makes much of the widows mite, of her pittance that she gave to aid those even less fortunate than herself though she had very little herself, there are those than would do well to remember that. This is a lesson that has been learned by many of the kind and caring residents that inhabit this little community and is, in part, one of the things that make it one of the very special places that it is. The purpose of this little place on the internet is also my way of repaying the many kindnesses of those same kind and caring individuals, for this is more truly their place and their voice than it is mine.

June 28, 2004 - Just about the time that one would think that things would settle down a bit around here, it seems something else comes along to make life interesting. In this case, it happens to the Outward Bound mystery. For those of you who have been following our Tollhouse News and Gossip, you no doubt know by now that a local resident provided the information that Outward Bound was intrested in a couple of parcels of land near our townsite. And while this is probably not of major concern outside the local region, it is a perfect example of how things work in a very small community. Within minutes of his presentation of the information to several people that were in the market at the time, more had gathered and within probably an hour after that, an ample number of residents were aware of the information. From this database of knowledge, it was relatively simple to figure out who the owner of the property in question was, and when he happened to come into the market some time later, to discuss the issue with him. This, in turn, led to him contacting his listing realtor who denied any knowledge of the matter, which is entirely possible as the information supposedly derived from someone that was aware of another realtor or associate that was researching the property at the behest of Outward Bound. If this is true, it would seem that the information was discovered at a very early stage in the process. I will attempting to contact the appropriate department of Outward Bound today to see if I can confirm or deny this information, and when that is done, the response, if any will be posted on the news section of ths website.

June 25, 2004 - Most likely sometime this weekend, the owners of this company and it's website will be getting together to elect a new executive officer. I know that it won't be myself, because as Lyndon Johnson once said, "If nominated I will not run and if elected, I will not serve." Running, maintaining and writing this website is more than any one person can handle and that is the extent of my abilities to serve the company right now. Directing the marketing, advertising and product procurement will have to rest upon another person's shoulders, and I will abide by the majority opinion of the owners, subject to the above mentioned conditions. That being said, let's talk of other things. A few days ago, I urgently requested your help with telling your friends about our company and it's website, and your response has been most wonderful indeed. A couple of very personal thank you's are in order at this point. First in the last two days, we have made mention of the hard work of Ron and Patrick in going out in the chat rooms of the internet and telling everyone that we are here. Their efforts, and the corresponding results have been quite remarkable. Ron, a hardworking caring young man, who spent a great deal of time in Tollhouse last year got to know many of it's residents. Though he has been working on a ful time job, and also working as a gospel musician, has found the time to spend several hours a day helping to promote our website and also to expound on his new found Christian commitment. For the latter, we commend him highly, and for the former, we thank him most kindly. Patrick is a personal acquaintance who has spent a fair amount of time in Tollhouse, along with wife Tracy and daughter, Melanie, as well and has been most diligent in his efforts in helpting to get this project going. In a project such as this, the efforts of such individuals can not be overstated. They both certainly have the thanks of myself and of the majority of the individual owners of this company. Please keep up the great work fellas. A frequent visitor to this website came by the market the other day when I happened to be there and remarked about how much she liked our little website and how she visited it almost every day. When I inquired as to whether she had actually purchased anythign yet, she looked a bit perplexed and said, "You have items for sale?" This makes it clear to me that I need to work harder on the home page of our little website to make it even clearer to all that our purpose here is two fold. We are here to provide a service to our community and entertainment to those of you who happen by, and as well to provide and outlet for the products that we carry as well and products from many of our fine local artistans. Starting soon, we hope to have a featured article of local manufacture featured on our website home page all the time that will change on a weekly basis. As well, if you're a local artisan reading this journal then please feel free to contact me so that we may most happily place your products on our website. You are one of the very reasons that we exist. You may do that by clicking here  In closing this entry, I again ask for you to continue to come back and visit us often, tell your friends and neighbors, both real and virtual about us and keep checking our Tollhouse Market II , as we are adding products on almost a daily basis..

June 22, 2004 - Life in a small town may seem to be quiet and peaceful, however local politics can often take on a new meanng in a small close knit community when everyone seems to be aware of everything that is going on, and rumor and gossip can often be a most interesting commodity therein. This website, as has been said before; represents an experiment in trying to connect a group of people that are normally relatively close knit into the owners of a small company that somewhere down the road may hopefully succeed and create something to be proud of. In that, and being the experment that it is, all of us, including myself are learning much as we go. Unforntunately that also means being involved in the politics of personalities. There are partners and other owners, there were agreements made and that were expected to be honored. This has not always been the case. For my part of the enterprise, which is maintaining this website, I have always endeavored to stay neutral in such affairs and would hope that things would work themselves out in the long run. Sometimes, howerver, that is just not possible. Many things going on behind the scenes threaten our little experiment and at times it's difficult to watch the results. My only goal in all of this is to show the residents of the town of Tollhouse as I see them. Since I do the writing that is only to be expected. The work of this website was originally supposed to be part work, and part labor of love, and I truly have to admit that in spite of the hours involved in maintaining it, it truly has been a labor of love. I find out now that it is not work but entirely a labor of love, because I receive no compensation for this website. That will now only happen if you, the people that spend time here and have told us how much you enjoy it, will support it with your purchases, or even your donations. If you wish to make a donation to support our website, you may do so by clicking here . And if that is too much to ask, then I and the other owners of this company and the website simply ask you to email your friends and acquaintances and tell them abour our little website. If they have difficulty finding it, then ask them to go to yahoo.com and search for Tollhouse Trash, and they will find it most easily, as it is the first of the major search engines to recognize that we exist. This is a part of the process of creating a new website, that of getting the search engines to recognize that we exist and it is slowly happening. I, and the other owners of the company thank you most kindly for your kind words and support in any form that it has taken.

June 15, 2004 - When I first started doing this website I thought to myself how would it ever be possible to find something to write about each and every day about our little town and the relatively small group of people that live here. In a very short time however it was becoming difficult to limit the things that I was able to fit into 'the box' each day. That was one of the reasons that this little journal came to be. In working on this website, and interacting each day with more and more people that would happen through town to stop at the market or to stop and ask locals for directions, or just sitting and gossiping about history with the locals, the stories and the history of this little place never cease to amaze me. While every 'little place' on the map has the same kind of stories and history, I'm sure, this happens to be the place where I reside. In an era of global communications, global manufacturing and global standardization, little by little many of these stories and pieces of history are passing from the public consciousness. Therefore, one of the reasons to do this website is to use the modern technology that now exists to preserve a little piece of history and possibly a journal of day to day living of a small little community and a way of life that seems to be disappearing at an alarming rate. Many of the young people that have seen our site probably have only heard of communities like this from the knees of grandparents or great-grandparents, and thought that must have been a pretty strange way to live. But I have come to find out that some of our most loyal daily visitors are young people who have grown up in this area and are now far from home, either going to school or serving our country a long ways from home. These young folk have found that the more quick paced hustle and bustle of the large cities or the equally busy pace of military life make them long for the quiet serenity that is a place such as ours. It is often to them that I think of when writing our little news and gossip stories and when choosing the photographs to put on the website. I told as much to the father of one such young woman who currently resides in Southern California a few days ago. So, if I've managed to help assuage a little bit of homesickness, then perhaps a good thing has been done. For those of you visiting our little virtual glimpse at reality, please don't hesitate to tell your friends about us.

June 12, 2004 - The fire that took place just a short distance away from the center of Tollhouse yesterday caused this writer to contemplate a fact of life that sometimes small town people often take for granted, but is an important facet of life in a place like this. When Penny and Kate let loose the cry yesterday from their elevated perches overlooking town that they spotted a fire, the entire crew that was working on remodeling both residence and office space from this company, immediately dropped what they were doing and took off to help. There was no concern about their own safety or protecting their possessions, it was a simple fact that one of their own might be in dire need and off they went piling into the pickups that were at hand and grabbing any tools and/or shovels that were available. When they arrived, it was a matter of making sure that the occupant of the property was safe, and then going right to work. I was truly amazed by the fact that there was such teamwork evident as everyone grabbed a shovel and went to work to contain the flames and to quickly take direction from the personnel of the first fire truck to arrive. Even though these were not trained firefighters, we all did the best we could to keep the fire from spreading and to work with common purpose. This shows what I can only describe as a profound spirit of community. When things had time to settle down and the fire was contained, Momma Kate was heard to remark that this is what watching out for each other is all about. No matter whose property might have been on fire, the response would have been the same. I take great comfort in the fact that there are so many friends and neighbors that care, and this too is evident today in their tremendous efforts in helping getting situated in our new location. It is impossible to adequately thank such a great and wonderful group of individuals that come to together to help in a time of need, but I truly hope that what they and others may read here properly expresses the blessing that I believe each one to personally be.

June 11, 2004 - With Memorial Day and the death of former President Reagan happening so closely together this year, it's not so strange that the thoughts of many residents of our community have turned to the losses of their own loved ones. As is so common in small towns such as ours such remembrances and thoughts are often shared with one's neighbors. In a community as small as is this one, many of the immediate residents often to tend to behave more as an extended family more than just friends and neighbors. Much in the same way that President Reagan's children shared the fond and happy memories at the memorial service this afternoon, so have the residents of Tollhouse shared many fond and cherished memories of their own loved ones that have gone before them. This, in turn has caused me to remember with great fondness the story telling ability of my own paternal grandfather. Whether it was the stubborn old mule that he had to deal with as a young lad, or the way that he would tell the story of his migration from Missouri to Califronia during the time of the Great Depression with his entire family in tow, those stories are fascinating ones and though remembered, they are sorely missed. There are times when I would give anything to be able to hear those stories from his own lips once again. Most important, however is that they were told with great flourish and all these years later they never fail to bring a smile with their memory. It is often said that true riches are measured by how much you are remembered when you are gone, and in this both my grandfather and our former president shared a common bond of 'true' wealth. signed by the Webmaster

May 28, 2004 - This little space is a place to talk about the place where we live and a little bit about small town life in general, but not in ways that can be put into the neat little boxes that are found elsewhere on this website. Unlike our news and gossip page, this page will only be updated when I (the webmaster) or someone else has something they feel the need to say.      As many of you that have been following this website must have realized by now, this website is an experiment, a labor of love by myself, and also a business. Being updated daily, it's time intensive and needs to pay for itself or it needs to go the way of all things that don't pay for themselves in one way or another. A website pays for itself in a number of ways. It pays for itself by finding sponsors, such as advertising or donations or it pays for itself by the things that it sells. In our case, we do a bit of both, but at the same time, we are much like a daily newspaper being that we talk about things in and around our little community, make fun of ourselves a bit a times and also represent what hopefully will eventually become "the little company that could".     We try to promote the things that are positive in our little town, and also things that are positive in the human spirit in general, as there exist many other outlets to tell us what is wrong in our country and the world. most especially is this true during an election year such as exists at the present time. Therefore, you will not usually see in our little website the typical bad news that is so readily available elsewhere. As is stated in the About Us section of our website, our goal is to make Tollhouse a better place than we found it. If we can make you smile for a minute or two, when you come to visit us, then one of our goals is accomplished. As for some of our other goals, much of that rests with those of you who visit this little place on the Net from time to time.      If you like what you see, or you like what we are trying to do then let us know, or better yet, tell your friends and your neighbors about us. Tell them that there exists in the foothills of California a little town that needs your support and they may find it at www.tollhousetrash.com or www.tollhousetreasures.com . Botth work equally well. Or, if you're feeling particularly generous, you might actually want to order something from us. After all, that's one of the reasons that we're here. And just think how nice it would feel in this day and age of outsourcing that you're spending money that will be used to help an entire community that exists in our country. Our support will always remain in this country, our sales and shipping departments will always remain here, employing our citizens. In the here and now, these are important points to consider. So, if you've taken the time to read this, then take the time to make an order or tell someone else about us. We would most sincerely appreciate it.  signed by the Webmaster

May 26, 2004 - If you've never lived in the country or in a small town, it is something that takes getting used to. But once you get used to it, it's something that most people miss terribly if they're removed from it. To live in a very small town is to know that you're neighbors probably know more about you, or think they do, than you know about yourself. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but it does take some adjusting for modern day individuals. The same differences of opinion about current issues still exist even in small town america, there are just usually more mechnanisms to discuss them.      Having spent the first 10 years of my life on a farm in the Central Valley of California, I grew up listening to many "'morning coffee klatches" of the male and female sorts. Contrary to popular belief, neither gender has the monopoly on it's ability to gossip with both vim and vigor. Also any child of the early sixties almost always had some relative, mother, grandmother or aunt that liked watching the soaps. It is from these early memories that the parts of this website were fashioned. So, we have the players in our Rogue's Gallery, and our daily episodes in our News and Gossip and the behind the scenes look will be here. This is as well, an experiment, and it is here that we shall keep notes of our little experiment. While there have been many companies that over the last decade or so that have had the employees become partial owners of the company, this is, we believe, one of the few companies that is owned and managed by a community. As such, it should prove interesting from time to time to see how the experiment goes, and that we shall endeavor to do. So, check back here from time to time, and take a look "behind the scenes" at the Tollhouse Trash Company. signed by the Webmaster